2024: KABHI KUSHIE KABHIE GHAM

If there is one thing I learnt from 2024, it is that both the good and bad will happen, but I’ll still be here. A new day will come and I will rise...

2024 came with a lot and surprisingly I was not overwhelmed. Amidst visceral loses, I really locked in this year. Clocked in like my life depended on it; because it actually did. Biggest win: I cleared all my 2024 prospectus.

If there is one thing I learnt from 2024, it is that both the good and bad will happen, but I’ll still be here. A new day will come and I will rise. In fact, all my biggest fears will come to life and wallahi, I will still be kicking because I do not know how to go down without a damn fight.

2024 SUMMARY

On the first day of this year, I told God I’ll be writing two career-defining examinations and that it’ll mean a lot to me if I pass without any hitch. That was my biggest goal this year and indeed, my lord surprised me in a lot of ways. I survived a freak accident in February and my phone theft in December. Passed my exams in March and October this year. My Grandma’s surgery was successful. I was a panellist for Sokoto Books & Arts Festival. I am currently the Best Speaker (Debate Category) in my university and my debate streak remains undefeated from OAU days.

I did a lot this year. From being an integral part of running my med school association to politics and NiMSA; to solidifying my interests in research and earning certifications; to extracurricular and writing and relationships. As I write this, my Baja’s Principles of Surgery is partly opened and I am always running back to my Norman Browse. I have a patient to clerk and a presentation to make on today. I am listening to TML Vibez’s Trending and my belly is full of happiness. Indeed, I am grateful for the gift of family, friends, and an invaluable support system.

SCHOOL

I finally understood medical school to a great extent this year. In 2023, I was contemplating on dropping out because it just did not make sense to me how and why becoming a doctor was this herculean. This year, I entered my avatar state twice and I told everyone I belonged here; and that nothing save from death would take me out of here without my degree.

I wrote about my medical education a couple of times on my substack. I wrote about not dropping out; my first year, second year, third year, and my med school association. I wrote a lot because I fear I’d forget and I want to read these things many years from now and chuckle. Relationship post like this, caveats like this, and on trending topics like this.

My results were impressive and expectant for me. My academic cheat code is: aim for distinction even if you are a pass candidate, you might not get the distinction but you’ll finish with credits and you'll be proud like I am. I mean, with all I did aside academics, I do not kid myself when I say that I’d rather be an all-round credit student than focus only on being a distinction student and sacrifice everything else.

My academics are sometimes fine, sometimes in perilous danger, and at times excellent. I do not have a stable academic lifestyle and I am currently working on it. I am now in one of the top classes on campus. There is this huge divide between preclinical and clinical at my med school, and yeah, I made it to the senior side this year. Yes, I am not a shitty clinical student and I don’t pick on my juniors. Yes, I like clinicals because I can now further deal with bullies and miserable seniors.

I need to become a doctor because people are waiting for me to get that degree.

My relationship with my classmates has gotten better. I treat everyone decently and I am on good terms with everyone. I try not to be too involved in class activities like I did in previous years. Now, I am more interested in knowing my stuff, passing, and moving on. I don’t engage with the shenanigans in class groups, I am way quieter, and I do not give two fucks anymore. If the class is burning. I’d pack my stuff and leave.

I was nominated for the Most Popular award which was surprising because I never considered myself a popular jingo. I was voted third out of six candidates across all levels. I was also the only then preclinical student in that category. Now, I walk around campus and people I don’t know really know my name and extends warm regards to me.

I was part of the local organizing committee for this year’s healthweek and it was by far the best in several years. Senior colleagues attested to this. We had our first Tradefair on campus; the dinner was so lit that we had people asking if we’d plan the next one too; we had a wonderful planning committee hangout days later and I enjoyed myself.

MENTAL & PHYSICAL HEALTH

Well, my mental resolve has strengthened this year. I do not spiral into chaos like before. I am calmer with handling things. I have realised that panic and rush will never solve my problems. Also, this firm resolve is why I can go into hibernation for days, clear my headspace, make realistic plans and stick to them.

My impostor syndrome is barely noticeable, I get less anxious, and I do not feel threatened academically like before. I still use my words of affirmation and mantras, quick meditation, read and binge watch things that make me feel okay like finishing 101 episodes of Boston Legal in three weeks.

Physically, I am in good shape. I used to do weekly exercises on the weekend with a couple of my classmates. Right now, well, the shege I am seeing is enough exercise. I have maintained a fairly decent weight; my eyesight hasn’t deteriorated; I do not have any chronic illness at the moment; I have not fallen sick and required medication since the beginning of this year. Save for my accident, I have been hospitalized only once this year which was when I collapsed weeks to my MB due to stress.

WRITING

I wrote a lot this year but I lost most of my works when my phone got stolen in the middle of December. I was too devastated to cry throughout that week. As I write this, the pain is still as fresh as if it happened yesterday. I lost more than 40 poems, about 7 completed short stories, and several WIPs. I should have published these pieces but I told myself that I am in charge of my own works and I wasn’t hungry about publishing every damn thing I write. So, once in a while, I share random excerpts and stuff on my WhatsApp status and move on. I do have a couple of works awaiting publication come 2025. I wrote more poetry than stories this year, I met other writers too. In 2023, I was shy and turned down most of the writer’s hangout invite I got. This year, I was going out and meeting people and having spirited conversation and just living.

I now have writer’s merchandise and I am not afraid to tell people that I write. My Agbowo sweatshirt and the tote bag Aarionla made for me were my highlights. I attended a workshop and book chat with Umar Abubakar Sidi to close off my literary exploits for the year. Last year, it was Abubakar Adam Ibrahim sitting where Sidi sat. Sokoto Books and Arts Foundation hosted me as a Panelist for this year’s SOBAFest where I talked about writing and books and literary criticism in company of other wonderful panellist like Great Kay and the Enokelas. Oh, I met fans and people whom I’ve always wanted to meet.

I focused more on my substack and steadily I am growing my readership over there. I did less of copywriting this year. The only reason I still get job referrals is because I'm good at what I do. 2025, I'll try to go from freelance copywriting to corporate copywriting. I need me some stability.

PEOPLE & RELATIONSHIP

I do not want to talk about this because I feel like I’ll be too vulnerable. There was a tweet I once saw that read “how much can your circle raise in 24hrs” and somebody replied with “alarm. My circle can raise alarm like mad”. My own circle can raise money, can raise moral and physical support. My own circle literally carried me all through the year. I am not joking when I say I had people who stood by me during my thickest and thinnest.

This year, maybe because I said it’ll be the one I make myself available for my people… omo people used me like mad o. Asiwaju is the only one who’d understand the most because I cry to her every damn time. I cut so many people off in 2024 that at a point I felt I was the toxic one but I quickly realized that I cannot keep pouring if my cup is empty. While I tried to be there for everyone, I prioritized myself and my circle and it really paid off.

I now relate with more people than I did in 2023. I talk to more people in college than I did last year. Just small talk. My circle of friends in the university is still pretty much the same. I also get along with more people now. I think I have stopped having expectations and take people as they present themselves. Expectations usually lead to disappointment.

I connected with a lot of new people this year. I am in a unique relationship with Aarinola and if all things go well, you people will collect wedding invitation before next year ends. You people should sha keep me in your prayers so that I have money and do big wedding party.

BOOKS

I read the least this year. I read 60 books in 2022 and 47 in 2023 which was my lowest. This year, I struggled to read 40. Most of my book recs came from Nigerian Bookworms, Joey, and Aarinola. I tried a couple of non-fiction this year and surprisingly, they were good. Like seriously goooddd. Nevertheless, I’m still a fiction and poetry guy. My favorite poetry book this year is Zaynab Iliyasu Bobi’s Cadaver of Red Roses. For fiction is Elnathan John’s Born on a Tuesday. For non-fiction, I’ll give it to Richard Koch’s The 80/20 Principle. Adam Kay’s This Is Going To Hurt is my favorite medical literature for this year.

Please read Agbowo, Lolwe, The Shallow Tales Review, Isele, doek, and the tens of other vibrant literary houses in Africa. I do not have a list of book recommendations to share but I am preaching the gospel of reading publications. This year, I immersed myself in Adda, Caine prize, and hours on the internet reading interviews and literary conversations.

FRIENDSHIP

My biggest issue this year so far is friendship. I had a fallout with people I thought we were on the mend towards becoming better. And there is potentially another one about to reach its ruins. I am not a perfect human being, but I deal well with people.

I know how to be a friend. I know how to maintain friendships, so why is this year looking like the year I’d have my largest fallouts? The first one, he was a negative influence on my academics; the second one, we did not have enough time to tender to the friendship and the thing died; the third one is just a shitty person I should never have considered a friend in the first place; These were physical friendships, people I had at one point considered my top gees.

Asiwaju used to tell me that not all friendships are meant to be forever. You are bound to lose people along the way and meet newer ones. Friendships, like everything, have expiry dates, and I should not feel bad if they come sooner than I wanted.

But I introspect. I like to figure things out; I like to think a lot and agonize too. I have spent crazy hours thinking about these people, why we fell apart, and whether I’d want to get back with them. However, the conclusion has been fairly consistent. There are no current scenarios that’d make me remain their person.

I really do not need them to survive as I have been consistently better since we parted ways. There is this tweet I saw that said “There is a way someone would treat you with disregard that if you still continue to talk to them, then you are a big fool”. Another tweet said, “If I treated you way less than you deserve and you accept it, then maybe that is exactly what you deserve”.

I know. I know. It looks like I went fishing for tweets to support my stance. Anyone who knows me physically knows I am a sucker for friendships. I like and crave and try to curate everlasting friendships. I know all of my Grandma and Grandpa’s top friends and they have been together for over 30 to 40 years. Those were the people I grew up with. My oldest friendship is with the twins I met at the beginning of JSS1 seventeen years ago and we are still together.

I want all my friends to treat me exactly how I treat them. I want them to prioritize me the way I prioritize them. I want them to be there for me, be open with me, laugh, cry, banter, and most importantly grow with me. I have people that fit this category, and I have others that are trying. I am also trying in my own ways to be the kind of person I want others to be to me too.

Anyway, here is my conclusion regarding this. I am not a lone tree in a forest. I have genuine friends so I’d work harder to better our friendships that are currently working. I am done nursing residual feelings and agonizing over things that did not work out. I will stop going miles for people who would not think I deserve a meter. All in all, I will continue to grow, evolve, and strive to be a better person.

FINANCES

Well, this is the Tinubu economy and things are not too pretty in the county. My finances are not as solid as in previous years. However, I am very grateful for the little I have and I have been managing it well. I have cut back on food, transport, social media, and utilities. Before, I used to take 40K to the market and stocked up enough foodstuff to last for a month or more. In fact, I only go to the market once a month. I have a seller I patronize and she treats me very well. Now, I spend around 70K and still eat just once or twice per day.

I used to have a cravings & transportation budget of 20K which is now 10K monthly. I don’t even have cravings again – Sokoto suya is unhygienic, yoghurt & eating outside aren’t really my thing sef, and I am surviving without drinks because water is best. I also fly bike less and trek more. Walking is a form of exercise and unless I am late or too lazy to walk, I don’t consider taking bike on my way back from school. I now eat more fruits than junk. Hashtag healthy living is goal.

I throw tantrums any month I have to spend more than 10K on data, and I do not do subscriptions again. What was I thinking that “streaming” was for me? I can't afford to be offline because, in this school, you can be offline for two days which is enough time for your classmates to have written two tests, done ten practicals, and moved three classes ahead of you. In fact, one of my pinned WhatsApp groups is my class's official page. In this school, if you snooze, you will lose big time.

Nevertheless, I am grateful I was never hungry this year; there was always food at home and money to still satisfy small small cravings. I cooked a lot this year, I did not try newer dishes sha. Bill wise, people came through for me at my direst hours and I'm forever grateful for that.

Like in 2023, I was able to save more by spending less and buying in bulk. I did not invest anything o — na person whey don chop dey invest. Food still took the largest chunk of my spendings, then books, housing, my regular bills, and transportation.

EXTRACURRICULAR ACTIVITIES

Where do I even start from? Anyway, here are a couple of highlights;

I am: the Editor in chief of my medical school student association and was a deputy last year; Research Assistant and former Local Officer for UDUMSA with the NiMSA’ Technical Office on Cancer Awareness and Advocacy; Local officer for UDUMSA with the NiMSA’ Technical Office on Mental Health Advocacy; Member, Research & Innovation Committee with UDUS-SOHIC (Student One Health Innovation Club); Member, Youth Coalition against Cancer (YOCAC).

Member, UDUMSA Standing Committee on Medical Education & Health (SCOMEH); Team Lead (General Knowledge), UDUMSA Quiz Club; Deputy Head, UDUMSA Debate & Literary Club; Head of cohort & Member of Peer-review team, UDUMSA Research Club; Core Member, UDUMSA Healthweek 2024 Planning Committee.

I won UDUS Debate Club Oratory Odyssey Grand Debate 2.0 as the Top 1 Best Speaker (Debate Category) and Best Team in the British parliamentary debate style. I am the Grand Winner of the Digest Inter-faculty Debate Competition 2024. I was a panellist for the Sokoto Books & Arts Festival 2024. Best Planning Team, UDUMSA Healthweek 2024.

I attended two conferences and a summit this year. I co-organized three physical outreaches on cancer awareness and created content for all the cancer awareness in my medical school. I directed more than five health awareness videos for both NiMSA TOCAA, TONINCD, and SCOPH. I lost count on the number of webinars I attended this year.

I earned the following certifications: Advocacy for Cervical Cancer Elimination from the Union for International Cancer Control (UICC); C4P-HPV Tool (cervical cancer prevention & control costing tool) from World Health Organization via their Health Emergencies programme; two certificates from NiMSA TOCAA, one from NiMSA TOMHA, UDUMSA SCOPUB and SCOSA respectively.

2025 PROSPECTUS

I will say what will happen in 2025 with certainty: everything good will come. I am sure 2025 will be better than 2024. I will not go in with a humongous to-do list, but I will do a whole lot. I have world-breaking and personal record-shattering achievements in mind as much as I do wish for is the little joys and sometimes filtered-out happiness that comes with living.

I want 2025 to be a year of thanksgiving and love and growth and locking in. I want the days to be simple, sweet, I want my next year to be incredibly soft irrespective of what anybody thinks. I do not have a medical board exam to write next year, nonetheless I will pass every exam I sit for. I'll write fearlessly and unhinged. I'll make more money. I'll be there for my people. I'll do everything I want to do and yes, nothing will be sacrificed because my Lord will never abandon me.

In 2025, I'll continue to be HIM.