Have you ever read a book and wondered; “what the hell was going on in the head of this writer when they wrote this particular first sentence?” I do it a lot....
"She kept walking straight, she neither looked left nor right, her pace had slowed down by this time as she had been walking over forty kilometers without stopping. She didn't feel sorry for herself, nor did she admit to feeling the pains in her feet, she knew all of these were part of her restitution, or so she was told."
I like thisss... Boluwatife why are you so talentedddd. I feel you should start this paragraph with a noun and not a pronoun. You're not also saying much but I like the mystery this paragraph carries. It makes me want to read more. Intriguing. Give us more subtle hints in the first paragraph.
Says a beautiful soul whose search for her identity in other's lives turned out to be an arrow she put through her throat. I told her "face your own pages of life, turn them over as they come to you, enjoy the moments they bring to you, like when Momma makes coffee for you at 7"
Kore! Your writing style is different as always. I'll suggest you switch to present & active. If possible, push your dialogues to at least two paragraphs after your first one. Remember, the goal of the first paragraph is to keep your readers reading by setting the pace. You don't want to be confusing.
Your comment is heart-warming to read, Joy. Thank you. By the way, I want to read that amazing first paragraph you're working on. Drop it as a comment 💚💚💚💚
"She kept walking straight, she neither looked left nor right, her pace had slowed down by this time as she had been walking over forty kilometers without stopping. She didn't feel sorry for herself, nor did she admit to feeling the pains in her feet, she knew all of these were part of her restitution, or so she was told."
I like thisss... Boluwatife why are you so talentedddd. I feel you should start this paragraph with a noun and not a pronoun. You're not also saying much but I like the mystery this paragraph carries. It makes me want to read more. Intriguing. Give us more subtle hints in the first paragraph.
Thank youuu! Your comment is heart-warming and makes me want to keep doing.
I'll do better. Thanks boss!
Thank you Ololade🙌, I'm a big fan though 😌
Zyzah of Africa. You're very much welcome. ❤️💜💚
Ololade's unique was of driving his points and you just have to be a passenger in it. Lessons learnt
Ignorance can be bliss."
Says a beautiful soul whose search for her identity in other's lives turned out to be an arrow she put through her throat. I told her "face your own pages of life, turn them over as they come to you, enjoy the moments they bring to you, like when Momma makes coffee for you at 7"
Kore! Your writing style is different as always. I'll suggest you switch to present & active. If possible, push your dialogues to at least two paragraphs after your first one. Remember, the goal of the first paragraph is to keep your readers reading by setting the pace. You don't want to be confusing.
I couldn't peel my eyes away from the moment I started. You're a talented writer Ololade... you make writing look fun and easy😅
Your comment is heart-warming to read, Joy. Thank you. By the way, I want to read that amazing first paragraph you're working on. Drop it as a comment 💚💚💚💚